Why doesn't he understand?? I've been in hospital so much you think at somepoint something would sink in that I have 'issues' right?? Clearly not.
Now I feel even more trapped, because it's not me saying not to eat, it's him. I hate this.
My Monday routine is to go out at 11am, get the 11:20 bus, get to the pool for 12 noon opening swim til it closes at 1.30pm walk around until my psych at 3pm, but tomorrow I have the psych at 2pm so I have to get changed really fast and walk or jog to psych. Which is good..more exercise.
I don't know what to say to her, I'm too embarrassed to say what's been happening since my parents have been away.
- I'm scared of the dark, I'm scared to sleep, I'm having nightmares
- If I eat I purge, so I haven't been eating. I can't eat.
- I haven't done anything all weekend.
- I've taken too many laxatives and diuretics.
- OCD is driving me crazy, I'm worried about the doors being locked, the windows being shut, people breaking in, people hiding in the house.
My back aches from the laxatives and I feel like I've had too much water to drink but my mouth is dry. I ran out of post-diarrhoea electrolyte replacement drinks.