Sunday, 29 August 2010

wrong hair, wrong clothes, wrong me, staying in.

I feel so tired, groggy and depressed. Not suicidal depressed just everything is a dull grey depressed.
I'm meant to be going out in half an hour to a friend's belated birthday drinks...but I've cancelled. I feel so bloated. I got to a GW yesterday but I'm over it again today just because of water and waste and yadayada but I feel so SO HUGE. So yeh..I'm lame I cancelled because my hair is flat and childish and makes me look 15 (I got ID'd for ibuprofen on Friday, you can't even fucking HARM yourself with it!!!) and my stomach was too bloated for the dress I wanted to wear which was too formal for the occasion...blah.

I baked today, peanut cookies for my older brother and ginger cake for my mum.
Oh I've never written about my family...well

I live with my mum and dad and little brother (he's 12), my 21 year-old brother just graduated and is living at home at the moment as he only has a job in a bar. We have a laborador dog and it all sounds sweet and nice. Mainly it is nice.
My mum is physically disabled (though not in a wheelchair), my little brother has Asperger's Syndrome (a type of autism) and both my Mum and Dad have depression. My dad also has Asperger's though can't get a national health service diagnosis and we can't afford to get a private diagnosis at the moment. Neither of my parents work properly so yeh. We manage.

I do have a pretty good family though really, like not perfect but that doesn't really exist but they are nice people.

Worrying over university applications, we can apply to 5 places and my teacher wants one of those to be Oxford...but I don't have all A's so the only chance I'd have is using my health to my advantage but bleh :/


  1. Smileee, gorgeous. I think you're lovely. Things will start to look up.

  2. hey...come on, oxford sounds AMAZING!!! i think u should not lose the chance to give it a try, u'll regret later a hell lot if u dont!
    even if it's health advantage, it's still awsome, at the end of the day who cares how tf did u get there! :D
    stay strong