I've done nothing all day, college got cancelled because of the snow and the swimming pool was closed. I've eaten and thrown up twice today. I hate being home, my mum is getting suspicious about my weight again so she made me breakfast and lunch which I then purged. I have to purge dinner as well because I haven't even been for a walk today.
I've done barely any revision :/ I want college to be open tomorrow just so I'm not stuck at home again. Even though I'm going to fail my mock.
I wish purging had no consequences on my teeth. I wish no one could walk in on me. I would just purge everything. But then I'd be bulimic and I don't want to be bulimic. I don't want to be anything really.
All said by a girl who is still in her pajamas at 4:35pm, dirty hair she is scared to brush in case it breaks, and probably BO...eurgh! But I have to save showering for after dinner so I can purge in the shower...I don't actually purge in the shower, I purge in my waste bin in the shower then pour it down the toilet and wash the plastic bin out. Gross I know. I hadn't been purging much but then mum made me food.
Normally when I purge it is just to check my stomach is still empty. Acid and liquid is fine. I worry I might eat without noticing.