Thursday, 13 January 2011

I don't know what is going on

Normally it is easier to restrict than to eat because of how eating makes me feel. Today I decided it was easier to eat than to restrict. It was odd. I've had 3 mini chocolates and a bowl of cornflakes. I'm not eating anything else today hopefully and tomorrow I'm only having 250 calories. I'm having 300 today but I've already had 200. I'm going swimming later but I don't know how long for as my Dad and little brother are coming too.

My little brother has autism, Asperger's syndrome to be specific. He is extremely intelligent, 12 years old, he is in year 8 (US 7th grade) but since year 7 (the start of secondary school/middle/senior school) he hasn't really gone to school that much. They arranged and reduced timetable for him so he just went in for a morning or 4 lessons per day but this year even that isn't helping. The school don't really understand his Autism. It is a grammar school meaning you have to do an entry exam to get in to it so most of the pupils don't have any disability or if they do it is a physical one. So for now, he is being home educated. This might be a permanent thing if school doesn't work out. Anyway it is odd! I got woken up by my brother and Dad talking very loudly (because my Dad's hearing sucks) about tourism in the lounge below my room. My brother is SO MUCH happier at home though :)

I can't remember if I said I think my exam went quite well, I think I got a high B or low A...but I have to wait until March for the results as they are marked nationally. I have another exam on the 24th which I need to do a lot of work for but I'm feeling a lot more confident about now.

I don't understand why I'm eating. Maybe it is just because we have cereal in the house and normally we don't? Or because I'm stressed? I'm not binging by any means but I feel like I am, I have had a NORMAL breakfast but I feel overwhelmingly guilty, I might as well have eaten 2000 calories not 200. But I'm going swimming later, I'm going swimming later.

I haven't weighed myself in an age...I've been too scared to go searching for the family scales and my scales have gone CRAZEEE.

I have spots.

1 comment:

  1. I went to an all girls grammar... It sucked if you weren't an A* student with no problems. I feel for your brother! Good luck :) xx