Monday, 10 January 2011

Sometimes I wish I was sleeping beauty, so I could wake up when everything is better (and all my friends are dead)

2 bowls of cornflakes
2 biscuits
2 pieces of shortbread
bread
coffee

eurgh. All within 2 hours

I'm not going to college today, I slept for 17 hours last night got up and passed out. I have an exam tomorrow so I'm watching videos as revision on khanacademy.org

The sick thing is, I could happily eat more, well not happily, but I could eat more. I'm so ashamed, I have to write this in my food diary for my psych, it is disgusting.

I feel horrible, I haven't showered, I'm wearing dirty jeans and my stomach is bloated.

One of my 'friends' is freaking me out via text. I wish she would just back the fuck off, she isn't helping.

I'm so cold, a big patch of my hair fell out again. I want to sleep some more.

2 comments:

  1. If you were here...hmmmm..we'd go grab my space heater and make some coffee, and sit down with my cat and watch tv and talk, and I would try to make you feel better.

    much love to you!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Just quit replying to your friend. Blah! Use the old "I fell asleep" excuse. Haha. I use it often.

    I'm so sorry about your hair falling out. I have been sleeping for dozens of hours at a time, too. It's . . . ridiculous. But also very comforting.

    While your intake was much more (and probably made up of the wrong things) than you would have wanted, take comfort in the fact the it's still MUCH less than a "regular" person would eat. Your therapist will probably only notice how little food you consumed, while you're thinking it's a ton.

    I find carbs quite tempting in the wintertime, too. They're so warm and fluffy, like my bed. And I could probably have eaten more after eating those things, too, because carbs only make me crave other foods.

    You are doing just fine. Don't hate on yourself too much. Good luck on your exam. :)

    ReplyDelete