Friday, 14 January 2011

Well that was pointless and demoralising

I went to my adult mental health meeting. It started over 20 minutes late. When I got in there was a GP observing, the long-term team manager and a psychiatrist. They didn't have my referral letter, first major problem. Luckily my current psych (who came with me) had my file and gave them the letter so they could photocopy it. Whilst the manager was photocopying the letter the psychiatrist started asking questions like "Do you know where you are", "Do you want to harm yourself now?" "Do you hear voices?" which if he'd actually read my referral letter then he would have known they were completely inappropriate questions and that I'm actually pretty sane.
This generally put me in a bad mood. He asked me things about my mood and about self-harming, completely ignored the whole eating disorder thing he only seemed interested in if I was about to commit suicide or murder.
In the end I walked out, my psych stayed and spoke to them. I hung around crying in the waiting room until she came out. She left it so if I want to be referred for a psychological assessment we'll get in touch with them. Once we get in touch it'll be 8 to 10 weeks until the assessment.
The whole thing just made me want to run away as far as possible from the building. I don't harm myself anymore, I don't eat normally and I want to lose a significant amount of weight but god I'm not actually CRAZY. Sorry this is the most politically incorrect thing ever...but anyway I don't know what I'm going to do, except lose, lose, lose weight. So much weight I disappear and then they can't see me.

They just didn't get it...

6 comments:

  1. Oh hun :( I want to help. I want to say something that will help. Be strong ok? <3

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  2. i'm sorry :( even professionals don't often understand eating disorders. I don't think you're crazy either, I don't think I am - we are HURTING and don't know how to cope like other people do. my psych today made me feel a bit better by saying we generally learn how to cope by watching other people, it's a behaviour that is learnt... we obviously missed that lesson. It doesn't mean you're crazy though... x

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  3. Oh sweetheart, I'm sorry you had to go through that. I've always found that psychiatrists are far too black and white orientated and that they don't see the glaringly obvious if it's not dancing naked in front of them wearing only a tea cosy. x

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  4. Awh I'm sorry :( That sounds awful. You're not crazy, and they really don't seem to understand :/ It's amazing how... ignorant even professionals can be.
    Take care xx

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  5. that sucks, they don't sound very professional at all
    xx

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  6. I've had similar experiences, and it sucks... psychs and doctors don't understand, and they all ask the same pointless questions.
    I'm sorry you had to go through that! :/

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