Ahem...yesterday was my third day over 1000 calories. I'm pretty sure I haven't done that in several YEARS without purging. But you've guessed it "It has got to stop" "I want thin" "Fatso" and other dipshit phrases are running around my head...so today I'm back to hunger (which is a nice alternative to OMG my stomach is going to explode) and exercise.
I'm slightly worried I might have diabetes...but I may have just screwed my electrolytes. Well the past few days I've been finding it really hard to stay hydrated however much I drink, I pee it out and I have a headache again...and my legs ache and awhile ago my vision was blurry. But really I think my vision was funny because I was hypoglycaemic and my legs ache and I'm dehydrated because I'm probably drinking less and eating more...right? I might go ask my GP for a urine test sometime anyway. The main reason I don't want to be diabetic is that I would NOT manage it and I would go blind and lose my feet...but I don't really think I am. I hope not...obviously.
Oh yeah I watched Black Swan. Maybe it was all the hype but I didn't think it was that amazing. You can murder me now.
So today. I have so far, had some coffee and done my Biology homework. I still need to finish my presentation on the age of criminal responsibility from a neuroscience perspective. Seriously? What is wrong with me, we were allowed to do it on ANYTHING and I choose something that actually required reading and brain power and sources. Oh well I might be able to re use it at university? If I get in.
Oh yeah :/ the mind is seriously strong. I got an email from the University of ESSEX saying "If you come here I'll be your caseworker blahblahblah" (Disability services this is). I don't want to go to Essex (they want an A in Biology), I want to go to NOTTINGHAM. I read THROUGH THE WHOLE EMAIL Essex as Nottingham. Crazy huh? I even email back "Thanks for your email....I have already arranged a meeting with your collegue blahblahblah..." had to email back with apologies over the confusion. But seriously the words Essex and Nottingham look nothing alike!
Nottingham want a B in Biology and a B in GCSE maths (you sit your GCSE's at 15 or 16, at the time I was in hospital and got a C so getting a higher grade should be fine given I'll be 3 years older!) and Nottingham is a way better university for Neuroscience and medical sciences in general. And it has a nicer campus.