Saturday, 9 April 2011

Control me?

I've lost all sense of organisation.

My room is a mess
I'm eating, all the time, too much, random mixtures.
I haven't done any studying in over 2 weeks.

I'm losing my grip and I need it back but I don't know how. All I want to do is eat and eat and eat. It isn't like I'm binging, not like I used to. I'm just eating.

I need to sort it out.

I am thinking about buying a exercise bike from ebay...however...I will need to go any pick it up, which requires my Dad driving me and I will have to tell my parents I'm setting up an exercise bike in my room and..eurgh :/ I might just book my gym induction?

I’m begging you; control me now.
Tell me what to do, and how.
Make me work and make me slave
Teach me, sir, how to behave.

I want to feel you push and shove
No more feelings, no more love.
Only anger, lust and hate,
This is my life – this is my fate.

No more choices, no more say,
Responsibilities away.
No more letting people down.
As from today – in you I drown.

Stereotypical poem of these sorts of blogs, I didn't write it, but I understand it. In an odd sort of way. It is so much simpler when rules control you. I mean what would happen if tomorrow all laws were dissolved?


  1. I hope you're ok hun and find yourself. I hope you find peace <3 stay in touch

  2. Hope you feel better. Anything that you can do, even just controlling or starting one little task will make things clearer. Again, hope you feel better. :)

  3. love you :]
    you should see me when i eat! i have random slices of bread!
    please be safe. xxx

  4. Hey beautiful! I know what it's like when things feel out of control. Hopefully it all starts to make more sense soon. <3 <3

  5. I hope you feel better. I've been the same way the past week; I just can't stop eating! Things will get better. <3 <3