Okay, so...if I go to Nottingham then I'll be in catered accommodation. You eat breakfast and dinner in the dining hall with the other people from your hall (about 200 other people) and you get lunch at a cafe on campus. I was hoping, this would be a step in terms of regaining normal eating patterns. People will notice if I never eat and it is essentially like hospital in that there are set portion sizes and set meals. Obviously there wouldn't be anyone making my clear my plate or weighing me etc. etc.
However, at Winchester I could end up in catered or self-catered accommodation, I'll be in a complete whorlwind because I would only have known I was going for 10 days before I leave and I will only be able to take what I can carry on the train with me because we're meant to be on holiday then. I won't be able to go but my parents still will then they'll bring the rest of my stuff once they get back from the holiday.
I know either way things could go badly or well. I know I could be putting 'normal eating' into practice at home in the next 2 months. I can't eat properly at home, I can't change here, I can't get "better" at home.
I know it is illogical but I want to lose lots and lots of weight this summer then go to Nottingham and get back to a healthy weight but more importantly healthy minded.
I want to know where I am going. I hate not knowing.