Sunday, 7 August 2011

I ate a small amount on Friday, a lot yesterday and then I'm having a small amount again today.

Tomorrow I'm going to collect this Ottoman from someone with my Mum then we'll probably go to this massive shopping centre.
Tuesday I have my driving lesson, swimming and then seeing friends in the evening.
Wednesday I'm going to London, seeing Lily for a bit then meeting up with Lissy and staying at hers :)
Thursday I'm meeting Lily and we're going to this folk festival near-ish where I live on the coast.
Friday I'm finally seeing my 'best' friend after weeks because she was at university then in France for a month etc. we haven't spent any proper time together in about 6 months.


In the next month I want to lose about 8kg well 6-10kg. But if I lose 10kg I'll be in trouble probably, but they can't admit me any more so yeah.

It is a lot easier to be admitted as a child than as an adult. So when I was 14 I was BMI 16 when I was admitted for ED and self-harm and suicide attempts. I went to adolescent pysch though not specialist ED though they were meant to have a specialism in ED however I managed to drop to a BMI of 13 whilst in hospital so clearly they weren't that specialised!
And when I was 15 I was admitted for non-ED with a BMI of 17. But as an adult I couldn't go to general adult psych because that is for (at least in my area) completely crazy people and I'd have to be practically dying to go to the specialist ED place as an inpatient. Also in 40 ish days I'm going to University a couple of hundred miles from home and my doctor here can't directly refer me to a doctor there. I'd have to be referred back to my GP, then go to a GP at uni who would then get my notes from my GP at home who would then decide what to do.

But I'm not going to get really sick, I want to be thin, thinner than I should be but I still want to live a proper life. Contradiction in terms possibly but I'll see what happens.


  1. totally with you on the panicking about exam results! it seemed like ages til they came out and now it's like...what...11 days?! not coool! xo.

  2. Are you excited about starting school again? I love school :) Oh, and happy belated birthday my dear!

  3. Gaaaah I'm getting results soon too! Good luck :D I'm sure you've done great :) Sounds like a hectic week - hope you have a good'un, and get lots of rest too (: take care, xxx

  4. Sounds like the next week should be exciting!!