Tuesday, 8 November 2011

another dire post

It is 2am and I can't sleep, I'm hungry, I want to weigh myself but I can't be bothered to walk to the toilet.
I've put on Culture Club in an effort not to play depressing music.
I have the day 'off' tomorrow but I still have a tonne of stuff to do. My alarm goes off in 6 hours, I need to be up in 7 hours and starting work in 7.5 or 8 hours. Not going to happen.
I feel like I'm going a bit crazy. I don't know if I should tell someone. It feels a bit like a lie, or exageration. I mean even mild insomnia makes people go a bit loopy. It would all be better if I just ate and didn't throw up. Alternatively I can let my blood sugar get low enough I just flop into bed at the end of the day.
I loved it when I used to fall asleep at 8pm everyday. I just had to lay down, couldn't even get into PJ's just asleep in an instant.

I might go pee so I can weigh myself.

I need to lose 1.4kg by next Monday (3lbs) or by next Tuesday. Whichever.

I don't know if I'm going to eat tomorrow (today). I could have lettuce and chicken and ketchup in the cafe. I don't want to eat on my own though, and I don't want to go to hall, and I don't really want to eat at all. Not really.

Welfare poster
Email SU welfare officer about leaflet
Budget for welfare (advisory)

Photo for water polo

Budget meeting with JCR

I'll have coffee for sure. I have £5.10 to spend on campus on food. I don't really want to eat before the photo :/ tempting to use the money to buy food I know I'll want to purge. But I don't want to binge.


I know I've been okay for a long time now. I'm sorry.


I'll try to stop boring you.


  1. You're not boring. But I'm worried about you. I hope things are better tomorrow (today) :/

  2. Culture Club is a good prescription. I always found "Changing Everyday" strangely motivating.