Tuesday, 22 November 2011

Heya, another late night post. 1am here.

Anyway...today I didn't do that much? I went to my 1pm lecture then did some work with the two other girls for the presentation. I need to type up the notes for that in a bit then email them to them. Then I came back to my room until choir at 7, I cycled there because I was going to go to waterpolo straight after and I didn't want to be late but I felt crappy so I came back to my room.

I talked to Lissy on the phone for an hour and twenty minutes. Partially just catching up but also working out my stupid head and the OD thoughts etc.

Basically I had OD thoughts last night, then at the beginning of choir I started thinking about getting really drunk so I could just pass out asleep. Then I started thinking about going to the water polo 'initiation' (drinks and gross stuff) I'd OD before I got there then drink then have to leave to go to hospital or just pass out. Which obviously is dumb as! But I jsut think stupid stuff basically.

So we talked about how maybe I should just quit water polo because it stressed me out and I find it really hard anyway because of my blood pressure/heart. We also decided it would be a good idea to email Claire about it all, and also ask her to help with a few beureaucratic problems. Like I'm owed £98 back on my gym membership and I need to claim almost £50 for my ink and paper...I have £4 in my account at the moment and I did have £40 cash but have lost a £20 note so now I have £20. I get more money on Tuesday, then the 9th december I get a bursary installment. It is okay, it just panics me not to have money. For the past 3 years I've always had savings and money to fall back on in emergencies. Now I don't for 7 days and I'm freaking out.

(I'm scared to go and claim the gym membership back incase they say no and I get upset and do something)

That girl from my course? She apologised to me for refusing my help and everything. Said it'd be nice to have a chat sometime. I don't know if we actually will though.

I haven't weighed myself, but I feel massive. I don't know if that is just because I've been wearing jeans and I don't normally wear trousers (means I don't have to look at the top of my thighs).

I'm going to IKEA with a girl I live with tomorrow afternoon. She is from the Isle of Man and her sister is pregnant so we're getting some things for the nursery given the island doesn't have an Ikea funnily enough :P I'm actually really looking forward to going, I love IKEA. We used to go when I was younger, then every week I came home on leave from one of the hospitals I was in we'd go there on the journey (it was a long way!). It is just somewhere I've always been with my parents so it feels kind of safe? I don't know. I'm just concerned I'll spend all my money I've got left! I don't even need anything and there are specific things I want on ebay... I need to check how much overdraft I have left :P that would be one solution!


1 comment:

  1. aww, i'm sorry you're still having OD thoughts :/ maybe by talking to someone you'll feel better? and also, with the money - i totally get you, i'm panicking like crazy about it right now! dont be scared about going to the gym; i'm sure it'll be fine, and, have a lovely time at ikea! it's amazing in there, so good luck not spending any money ;) xo.