Wednesday, 14 December 2011


Okay so I walked to the clinic, which was actually rather pleasant :) once I found the bloomin' place...
The waiting room was really nice, much nicer that where I went at home. However the woman I saw was just eurgh. So she was just THE stereotype of a psychologist, everything was open ended, vague, nothing she said wasn't phrased without the prefix of 'perhaps' and with the tone of a question. I explained that I am on the autistic spectrum and whilst this wasn't generally a problem her phrasing was confusing me. She didn't change her phrasing.
She referred to my parents as "mummy and daddy" and regardless of what I call them two ADULTS talking and her saying
"mummy and daddy" is just completely bizarre.
She didn't know why I was there, she asked me what had brought me there (another confusing phrase - I had walked there!). Is it really too much for people to read a referral letter?! I heard my doctor dictate it, it said the basics of what she needed to know.
She said I was "prickly", I asked her if she'd ever met anyone on the autistic spectrum before, she just responded like a school teacher dismissing my rude/ridiculous question.
Once we clarified that I've had an ED for 5 years she started talking about when I "used to have an ED". She also said "Anorexia Nervosa" everytime she said Anorexia. Pissed me off with her stopid pronounciation.
She brought up the OCD I had mentioned, I said it was largely better now due to CBT. She said "are you saying you don't want CBT?" NO! I JUST SAID THAT CBT HELPED MY OCD!!! I'm not against having CBT, it helped before, I just feel like I've done A LOT of it and whilst I do want to work on certain behaviours I think I need to TALK to someone about the sexual attacks.
She suggested that ED wasn't the right service for me and I see the Asperger's Service. AHHHH! I don't need help with my Asperger's I manage to communicate FINE with every other therapist/psychiatrist/psychologist/doctor/nurse I've seen, she was just wierd! Every now and again she'd go "Riiiiight" or "Now we're getting somewhere" and I was like what the hell? Does that mean you think we weren't getting somewhere before?
Oh ALSO. I mentioned that I thought I was too fat to be there, she asked if I thought she was "going to weigh me and do horrible things to me". I said no, because I've never been weighed my a psychologist before. Then she asked if I WANTED her to weigh me. WHY WOULD I WANT THAT WHEN I'D JUST TOLD HER I WAS FAT?!?!
After 25 minutes (and I'm impressed I lasted so long) I left. Called Lissy, walked into town and got my mum's xmas present, starbucks and a jumper dress for £7 in H&M's sale it is REALLY warm and it is freezing so :)
Then I took part in an experiment for someone's research. Then I asked for an extension for my lab report and got until the 29th! TWO WEEKS! I need to do it Monday or Tuesday next week really but I'm hoping my brother will help me...
I also called my brother when I was in town, and told him I'd been to the ED people and how she'd been mental. It is the first time since I was in hospital that I've said 'I have an Eating Disorder' he was away at university a lot of the time I was ill. But anyway, he was really good about it and slagged her off.
I was having thoughts about emailing my mum saying I still have a problem but... I don't want her watching what I eat or commenting more than she does already. It isn't like she doesn't know it is just that we don't speak about it.

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