Thursday, 15 December 2011

The pleasure-pain torture chamber of...Buffet restaurants

Bearing in mind I've eaten dinner out...once? in the past manymany years without puking it up...going to an all you can eat with my friends is not the best situation for me to be in.
It is the only situation I can think of where binging is legit. I mean, I probably ate a lot less than most of the guys. I ate 4 plates of main (2, purge, 2 purge) and 2 bowls of dessert (purge). This place was buffet Chinese, Italian, British, Indian, Mexican... they had an ice cream machine and a chocolate fountain as well as marshmallows and cake...
I all honesty I don't feel that bad about it. It just seems normal now, I had to remind myself that when other people went to the toilets they weren't shoving their hand down their throat. Everyone was so full afterwards we came back instead of going to the bar as we had planned.

I'm trying to pack up all my stuff for moving home for the Christmas holiday (1 month 16th December to 16th January). My room, which is normally very messy looks like someone has trashed it. OhYeahMe.

I emailed my mum. I told her about being more depressed at the moment and explained that I don't want to be a pain over the holidays by not helping out but that everything is a bit blah and I won't think 'ahh that laundry needs folding'. I mean, they've lived with me the past 5 years whilst I've been in various stages of crazy (excluding hospital admissions where I was...worse) but it is more I remember how frustrated my parents got/get with my older brother when he is home and doesn't help out. To be fair, he doesn't have any health problems so I guess it is a bit different.

I was going to ask for my cupboard back in the kitchen however I may just take it isn't a whole cupboard, it is a shelf in the cupboard which when I was home briefly a month ago had some microwave tubs and salt on so I can re home them.

I have no idea what I'm going to be like with food at home.

I saw the GP today and told him about the ED psychologist. He said we'd have to rethink. He is going to arrange a meeting for the 3rd week of term (February) which is after the two weeks of exams and when lectures and Semester 2 starts. Everyone involved with me will be there and me. So him, Claire, my new mentor and maybe the head of support services, plus anyone else. I'm really scared and have 'decided' I have to lose 5kg by then so I'm comfortably underweight and they remember I am struggling with that...because he didn't say he would contact the ED service and make me an appointment with someone else...which is what I hoped he would do.

* stats lecture 11-12
* say bye to psychology friends
* 1pm meet with Claire and my new mentor
* 2.10pm get events form signed for the exams de-stress tea and cake session I'm holding in January (TERRIFIED, I CAN'T ORGANISE MY OWN LIFE, LET ALONE THIS). Before I go out in the morning I need to get it signed by the hall manager and the warden's secretary.

1 comment:

  1. I loathe buffets... there is too much temptation, too much expectation, etc... Going home sounds like it will be rough, but you seem to be handling it well, by communicating with your mother in advance. And by all means, take that shelf back!

    Thanks very much for your comments on my last two posts, I feel less a horrible person. xxx