Thursday, 1 December 2011

Topless models

I've gone from thinking everything would definitly be okay to really scared.
Saw the warden and there were also two postgrads there who are hall tutors (they don't teach us, they live here and make sure we don't kill theory), this meant I missed the JCR (junior common room, the comittee I am welfare rep on) meeting. Came back really freaked out that the warden now knew from me and not just from a form that I have problems. And also we talked about the laddish nature of the JCR....came back, invite on facebook to the after party of christmas formal dinner (Tuesday) loads of cool stuff..."topless santa claus models" fucking made me go mental. It didn't specify the gender but I don't see what it adds male or female and ahhhh. So at 1am I had a 'debate' with the JCR president (18 year old 'lad') about it, he kinda listened. But before he was listening I emailed the student union's woman's rep just asking for advice.... this morning the social secretary of the JCR posted on the thread and said it was a male topless model, it was totally normal and I was overreacting. In all honestly my point still stands that is aleinates a lot of the international students but my main points...I just don't have the energy to fight.
Now I don't want to go, 'want' (never want) to OD only that will mean having to talk to all the people again AND see my warden about being in hospital again so that means I would have to actually kill myself.
I don't want to die, I just don't want to be in this situation. OD'ing doesn't resolve the situation. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Seeing claire at 3pm


  1. A. I'll write back to your email today - so much family drama going on right now I can't think straight.

    B. Don't OD! It doesn't help you, which you know. It just makes you sick and feel shitty and puts you in the hospital and makes people freak out. You are lovely and beautiful inside and out. Just try to focus on this last bit of school before your holidays. I agree with you that the group hosting this party is alienating your foreign (and more modest) students, which is super lame. I hope someone decides to listen to you. If not, are you going to go?

  2. That topless model thing sounds a bit ridiculous, and your life, as always, sounds like a stress-fest. But pleast just hang in there, and by all means, please don't OD! From what I know of you, you're a lovely person, and it just isn't worth it. Much love, xx