I've gone from thinking everything would definitly be okay to really scared.
Saw the warden and there were also two postgrads there who are hall tutors (they don't teach us, they live here and make sure we don't kill eachother...in theory), this meant I missed the JCR (junior common room, the comittee I am welfare rep on) meeting. Came back really freaked out that the warden now knew from me and not just from a form that I have problems. And also we talked about the laddish nature of the JCR....came back, invite on facebook to the after party of christmas formal dinner (Tuesday) loads of cool stuff..."topless santa claus models" fucking made me go mental. It didn't specify the gender but I don't see what it adds male or female and ahhhh. So at 1am I had a 'debate' with the JCR president (18 year old 'lad') about it, he kinda listened. But before he was listening I emailed the student union's woman's rep just asking for advice.... this morning the social secretary of the JCR posted on the thread and said it was a male topless model, it was totally normal and I was overreacting. In all honestly my point still stands that is aleinates a lot of the international students but my main points...I just don't have the energy to fight.
Now I don't want to go, 'want' (never want) to OD only that will mean having to talk to all the people again AND see my warden about being in hospital again so that means I would have to actually kill myself.
I don't want to die, I just don't want to be in this situation. OD'ing doesn't resolve the situation. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Seeing claire at 3pm