Tuesday, 3 January 2012

Screwed up thoughts cont.

I don't know why I am doing this. I don't understand. I said awhile ago that I felt I should be predictable in my crazyness by now. But I'm not.
I joined a website...fulll of men...wanting sex. I don't know why. I really don't know why I want to be hurt. This is kind of the thing your meant to talk to therapists or something about...but I can't say it. I'm amazed I'm writing it on here.
I just don't understand myself. I keep getting messages on the site, people saying what they'd do to me. And for me it isn't some sort of fantasy to be told those things by an overweight man on the internet but...I guess like people says it just is like self harm. Like, oh I don't know.


  1. plenty of fish by any chance? one of my friends made me an account on that site, and put up my address. we're not friends any more, not after sweaty, fat men started turning up where I live.
    Joining a site like that is very self deprecating, almost a form of self harm
    dodgy stuff
    stay safe x

  2. oh wow.... yea sounds like a form of self harm to me too.
    please at least don't give them your home address or something. keep it online-only, ok?
    online anon forums and mailboxes can be a way to mentally explore and try to figure out strange desires in a way that doesn't directly put your LIFE at risk... ok?

  3. and i forgot to say thanks for telling me recorder is in treble. i think i can find someone for Peri's project now :)
    Please stay safe, little one.