Since this morning I've lost a bit, I'm now the planned weight for Thursday. I like being ahead, because on the plan I would still be officially fat for three more weeks.
I am still glad that I don't have to go to ED, I mean I am still going in September, I still have to do it all. I'm just glad I don't have to do it now.
So until then I'm going to see Dr Connor once a week and Claire once a week and they'll put in extra things if needed. I kind of want it on paper. A proper plan.
However, much as I don't feel able to make goals or stick to anyone else's goals for me (bar finish and pass the year)...I feel a bit lost not having any. I was meant to be adding more things to my diet but I haven't really got anywhere with it. I've now cut more things. I have no desire for any of my safe foods. I have a lot of hot chocolate. I'm not planning on having anything until Thursday, or until whenever. I mean I probably will but at the moment...I just don't want anything.
I'm such a loser.