I still haven't really decided what to do about tomorrow. I'll probably end up going because I don't want to turn down being motivated to walk for 4 hours. I don't really have anything to say to them.
I sent an email to Claire explicitly saying I didn't know what to do and my pros and cons. She didn't reply. I don't know if that was because she was busy or because she wanted me to decide myself.
Basically I've decided to go. Partly because I'm telling Lissy to go to her CMHT appointment and they are rather shitty too so I don't know, I'm hoping it might encourage her.
Over the last few days I've ballooned, literally. I look like I've got a balloon in my stomach. I feel dehydrated though I'm drinking loads. I have a really bad headache and I've gained over 5lbs. The 5lbs physiologically cannot be fat or muscle but it is still terrifying.
Oh fuck I've decided to go now. I don't mind the walk, I like the walk but I hate the hospital. It is all modern and echoey and everything is 'safe' even the coat hook on the back of the toilet door is just rubber so it would support a coat but not enough to hang yourself on. And that is in the friggin' outpatients department. I also don't like it because all the other patients in the waiting room last time were fat...I guess because of meds and whatever problems they have.