I started eating again and now I feel so so huge. Just horrible and fat and lazy. I want to stop again.
Today went okay.
My dad called me, my mum had told him things weren't going well. It is kind of easier with him because I know he won't go away and get upset about what I say. He just wants to help. They have both taken on board that when I come home the food discussion needs to happen away from the kitchen and not around a meal time.
I'm seeing Crisis at the psych hospital again on Thursday. I walked there last time so now I 'have to' walk there again. It takes about 1hr 45mins to get there. I was meant to be seeing Claire on Wednesday but she came to work this morning and then went off sick again so she is going to be off all week to try and get properly better.
Tomorrow I'm meant to have mentoring but I really don't want to talk to anyone else at the moment that I've cancelled. I have one lecture then I'm going into town with Claire (friend) we're going to go to New Look and Primark and maybe some other places.
Then in the evening we have formal dinner. Claire and her husband (an alumni of my hall) were meant to be coming but I'm guessing Claire or neither of them will come if she is ill? Then there is the afterparty which I've said I'll go to but I doubt I'll have the energy :/ who knows. I haven't decided what to wear. I want to wear a playsuit I have but it is completely impractical when you need the loo!!! Nothing else I have really fits anymore. I had things which were tight/ too small before and I didn't really realise I'd got smaller so I didn't try them on and now they're too big so they were just a complete waste.