Sunday, 1 April 2012

The cupboards scream

Since leaving university at 3pm on Friday I've eaten so much more than I normally do. I had some thai vegetable curry, chocolate pastry breakfast thing, skips crisps, burger king chips, hot chocolate, weightwatchers med veg pasta, weightwatchers lemon mousse, hot chocolate, bran flakes, mocha, bran flakes, mocha light frappacino, frozen yoghurt, six cereal bars, coffee, chicken, vegetables, some potato, some custard.
There are so many different foods at home, I want to taste everything, it terrifies me, I've already had so much in the last 2 and a bit days, what if I go mad and eat everything?

There are chocolate chip cookies, bagels, bread, pretzel sticks, biscuits, pastries...

I've realised that it was I'm so scared of. That I'll lose control, I have so many times before. At university I can cut food out of my life to a very large extent. I don't have to go in the dining hall, I don't have to have it in my room. I can buy smoothies and stuff with my student card. I could in theory binge everyday with that; buy cookies and cakes etc. but I just...don't. I mean I HAVE but only a few times and I have to really think it through, to actually go and pick it up and go to the cashier etc. At home it is all sitting there in the cupboards and it won't go until someone eats it. Maybe I could make that the game? How long does it take for 10 chocolate chip cookies to get eaten between my little brother, dad and mum. I suspect a very long time...

Lets play.

3 comments:

  1. Sounds rather dreadful. I have that issue going home, as well... xx

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  2. I know its shit and hard and you're always welcome here, I try to minimise the food stuffs laying around here. But I know the feeling, so well, there's a packet of bakewell slices sitting on the worktop taunting me. You haven't eaten a lot at all since leaving uni. It just feels it, but its not a lot. Just focus on one meal at a time, and try and stay open as poss with the parentals. Lots of love xxx

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  3. I agree with Lissy - focus on one meal at a time and remember that your parents have your best interest in mind. You can handle it.

    I hope you get to eat some healthy, nourishing food while you're at home - your brain needs some nutrition, girl! Don't feel taunted/tempted by cookies if you can choose veggies or fruit instead. And you should never feel guilty about eating those.

    Big hugs.

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