Monday, 30 April 2012


Today was 'good' I mean, I did everything I planned to do. But there is no buzz. Normally I get such a high over not only following my plan for doing work but also sticking to my plan for food. However, I'm not hungry, meaning it isn't a challenge and there is no buzz.
It is twenty-past eight. I have nothing else to do this evening except watch the second half of a TV drama on at nine. 
I feel like I've lost my ability to talk. I've barely spoken to anyone all day. 

I'm getting worried about Wednesday. I'm seeing Claire at 2pm (and I'm still fat), I'm seeing Dr C at 3.30pm (and I'm still fat) and I'm going to b-eat in the evening (and I'm still fat). I don't feel like I can talk about any of the things I have running round my head because as soon as I do "you're fat you're fat you're fat" starts running through my head.

I'm going to stick up posters. My room is looking a tad bare. 

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