Wednesday, 2 May 2012


I got a call at haf past twelve saying Claire had had to go to an emergency and probably wouldn't be back in time for my 2pm appointment but that I could see her at 1pm tomorrow. This made me really stressed and sad because 1pm is the start of her lunch hour and just generally given the "she is only seeing you out of guilt" comment essentially meant I wasn't allowed to see her.
Anyway I was doing my walking then and I walked longer given I wasn't seeing Claire. Went to see Dr C at 3.30pm. He said that he didn't say Claire had seen me out of guilt and that I must have misinterpreted him etc. I got upset and confused and everything. We semi sorted things out in that I don't mind seeing him again. He gave me the letters from the Crisis team and hospital on-call psych. They have a tonne of mistakes in them but he knows that and we talked about it so it isn't dire. I'm seeing him in 2 weeks because he is only giving me a 2 week prescription. I suggested I see him in a month but yeh... 
I don't really know what is happening about seeing Claire tomorrow. 
I'm exhausted from the walking and crying and confusion.

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