Tuesday, 1 May 2012

Mittwoch

I'm seeing Claire tomorrow, I want to because it is a space, but I don't want to talk about anything. I got my period, which always leads to fat feelings. I am 1.5kg heavier than a month ago, I don't know if that is because of my period or actual weight or what. I don't know if or how much I gain around periods because they are all over the place and stopped for a long time.
After seeing Claire I have 30 minutes until I see Dr C. Everything that has happened has wound me up so much that it is going to be such a struggle to communicate civilly if he asks me any questions. I really hope he just gives me my prescription and leaves it at that. He probably won't though because he'll be able to see I haven't filled my last two because I lost them (because the other doctor wouldn't give me a 4 weeks presciption but instead gave me 3x 2 weeks prescriptions dated so that I could only get them when the previous prescription would have run out) so he'll ask what happened etc. I don't want him to ask about eating, or weight or anything. At the moment I want to just say 'yes everything is fine' because I just don't want to talk to him. I don't want to have to answer questions about a problem I feel too fat to have. 
In the evening there is a b-eat group. I don't know if I'm going to go. All the same feelings.
I also have a 2 hour German class in the morning so all in all I'm not really looking forward to tomorrow.

1 comment:

  1. Good luck. You're not too fat for any of it. I know me saying it doesn't change how you feel, but still. I'm your elder, so you should probably believe me :P xxx

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