I have been so tired all day, everything has required so much energy that it just meant I had to lay down again.
My mum bought me a skirt she saw (because it was reduced to £1) and it is a size 6. She has never bought me a size 6 before, at Easter I bought a really lovely dress from a boutique (it was reduced to £10) but it is too big (size 10) and I asked her to help me take it in, she told me to gain weight. Like she is anti small sizes, anti sweetners, anti diet foods. Which is good I guess. Anyway yes she bought me a size 6 which is kinda good because whenever she gets me anything (which is rare because I'm almost 20) she will usually buy a larger size so I worry that it is because she thinks I am that size or yeh, all those thoughts.Then this evening we were talking about how me going into hospital really didn't help things and that if my local team could have seen me more regularly than once a week it probably could have all been avoided. Then I opened up a bit more about my eating, like the binging and purging. I mean she knew about some bits but had no idea about others. I mean I didn't go into masses of detail because it isn't a pleasant topic but I said about being worried about the house next year at uni like shopping more and having other people's unhealthy food around and she said she could help me make a list and when they move me in come and buy the basics with me. Which I kind of like, because I can still choose not to eat it, like I chose not to go to meals most of the last year but I feel like it might stop me going completely crazy. Also I'm just happy because by offering to help she is acknowledging it and also she offered something that actually would help.