So I went an lived in a hut in the woods in Somerset for 4 days. It was lovely, I'm so glad it exists. I stacked wood and fed pigs and played with their kids and dismantled the inside of a Campervan that had previously been an ambulance. I could've chopped wood but I felt like I was going to faint and didn't think that would be a great idea whilst holding an axe. However the feeling as if I was going to faint was purely due to blood pressure (bending down, standing up over and over) rather than blood sugar. I went and I ate. It wasn't perfect, I worried about how much to put on my plate and if I looked greedy or strange but I didn't want to die which was really really lovely. All the time I want to die there is a worry that I might actually do it and really I don't think I want to. Esspecially as I know that if things went really really wrong there is a hut in the woods in Somerset that I could live in and whilst there are options like that (and there are several) then killing myself really isn't necessary.
I am planning on going back mid-July to mid-August. Which is good but also slightly scary, a month of eating. No days off from food, not even meals off. I don't know if I can do it because I haven't in years and years. Even before I got ill I wouldn't have been able to face going and staying somewhere else because there were so many foods I was just terrified of. But I think it is worth trying, if it means I don't want to die.