Thursday, 26 July 2012

Still struggling. Skipped breakfast for the second time. Had a roll, houmous and salami at lunch. It is spaghetti bolognaise for dinner. Boiling hot, not at all hungry. Spent most of the day playing with a two year old though so that was pretty chilled :)
We were talking about ambitions last night (serious and silly ones) and I realised I don't think I really have any. I'm very good at convincing myself (and other people) that I care about my degree etc. just like I convinced myself and everyone else that I wanted to do a French degree. But to be honest I really don't care that much. If someone turned around to me and said 'actually you're not going back to university you're staying at the woods' I really don't think I'd mind much. All my ambitions, real desires have been about weight. 
Makes me feel like a massive loser and a bit lost and maybe  bit freer all at the same time...

Apologies if you've written to me and I haven't replied. I haven't actually left the land to go to a postbox.

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