I feel so confused with myself at the moment. I want to stop losing, then I freak out when I maintain two days running. Yesterday I bought size 10 jeans online (US 5) because that is the size I 'should' be. I made an effort to eat more on Saturday and Sunday and then today isn't more but isn't less.
I'm so exhausted and everything aches and I feel more depressed...because I'm not eating enough.
I feel so pathetic, idiotic, childish, weak.
It is 9 days until my appointment, I'm starting to look forward to it, I feel so alone, I just want to talk.