A woman from the mental health team called this afternoon. My referral was sent less than two weeks ago and my appointment is two weeks tomorrow on the proviso I will call them if things get worse before then and I will be seen sooner.
This seems so alien. She was really urging me to call if I even feel like cutting whilst understanding I've used it to cope for years. I find it so bizarre that people think I'm ill.
I've got to go to a town 13 miles away which it being the countryside takes an hour on the bus plus the 30 minutes to the bus stop. So 1hr 20 minutes of walking and 2 hrs on the bus on Wednesday 28th. I don't really mind. I'm just worried because I don't know which building to go to when I get there.
I'm meeting with someone called Lucy and then within the week my case is discussed at the multi disciplinary team meeting and they decide from what I've talked about with Lucy what treatment would be best. I haven't been a mental health outpatient for over a year and never in adult services. I mean I saw Crisis team last year but that is just short term.
It seems so bizarre to be going back to discussing therapy options and care plans, care coordinator, CPN.
We had the most stressful community meeting today. Well not THE most stressful, they are frequently stressful but it lasted almost two hours! I cried and as ever feel more confused by things than before the meeting.
OhMyGoodness I can't believe I'm going to actual have a first appointment and it is going to go somewhere and this is so scary. I cry so easily at the moment I'm going to be a mess.