The appointment was... a little bit pointless. The psychiatrist openly admitted she knew nothing about EDs. At all. I was saying about how restricting means I suppress my feelings etc and she just had no clue. F and I were like...okaaaaay. She is going to talk to the ED team but pretty much said unless I lose 5kg I won't be seeing them.
I didn't get diagnosed with anything new! Thank goodness!
It was mainly F and I going 'so it has taken you since October to do what exactly???' I mean they assessed me and wrote a report the Service Manager had to apologise for and then when I do have an appointment the Psychiatrist knows nothing about any of my diagnosis' except depression. So nothing about EDs, nothing about Asperger's, nothing about Tourette's, nothing about PTSD...
I don't have another appointment, she will write to me about whether or not the ED team will see me.
So even though I know why I want and need to get better (life, fertility, bones that don't break, a heart that beats) as of Wednesday eating has gone downhill. T and F noticed some stuff but equally I've eaten marshmallow and chocolate in front of them so I think they think it is fine. I don't know. When they psych asked why I'd increased my intake by 100 calories recently F just said 'because of us'. Which actually made me feel way less guilty. The psych said I was unusual because 'people with eating disorder's don't know they have a problem' (which is bullshit).
On Wednesday I saw the GP to get my blood results. I have anaemia but not severely and she is chasing up the 24 ECG and sending me for a tilt test (which is scary!!). My pill is being changed (on it to up my bone density) so the idea is that I won't take anything this week and will get a period however I'm doubtful anything will happen.
I've been kinda low/ irritable the last few days. Blanking out 'switching off' seems to be the only way to deal with stuff.