On Monday I'm going to a larger community for 10 days, then to my parent's house for a few days for my little brother's birthday.
I am so stressed about going, about having to sort my room out here so some strangers can sleep in it, about how fat I feel...I want to cut (I won't), I want to restrict whilst I'm away (I don't know how not to).
I'm ok about going, I pretty much get to spend 10 days sewing and doing art. But I'm so angry about going too. T and F and their kids are going on holiday, N and D (long-term, live-in volunteers) are staying here, having friends over, feeding the animals and chilling out. I'm NOT ALLOWED TO BE HERE. Plus, I only got told I wasn't staying here with N and D 8 days ago...
Yesterday and today, T and F and N have had friends and family over, it has been really busy, I'm really tired, the kids are annoying me. I'm the only 'crazy' person here and all these visitors ask me what I'm doing with my life and I have to give some polite answer.
I do love being here, but sometimes I just want some quiet and no one having a conversation right outside my door, or asking if they can get linen from my room (YES YOU CAN BUT DO IT YOURSELF).